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theregoi
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Name: Tina
State: South Dakota
Birthday: 6/26/1982
Gender: Female
Interests: Domestic things. My own mind. Traveling. Reading a great book, or poetry. People.
Expertise: My expertise is in a whole lot of nothing. I am a jack of all trades but master of none. Someday I will become a master...but I haven't figured out in what yet.
Occupation: Customer Service
Industry: Financial
Message: message me
Member Since:
6/5/2005
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| I chatted with Derek on Skype tonight for a few minutes, then he started yawning and mentioned being at work at 5am so I had to put the kibosh on that.... But it was great seeing him, hearing him. Even though I got a major case of the warm fuzzies today driving home, having finished my shopping, looking out at the dusky winter beauty that surrounded us, all I could be warm and fuzzy about was/is when I get to spend it with my own little family. Just me and my husband, spending time with his parents and family, looking forward to when we have children of our own. I suppose that then I will miss my parents and extended family. Being so far apart is always going to tear me in two, but I know that the best and biggest bit will be wherever I am. Wherever he is.
Wow, mushy! I'd better stop or I'm going to make myself cry! I can't stop smiling though, so it's good tears mostly. Every time I tear up because I miss my fiance I just realize how absolutely loved I am and how much I love in return.
Okay I'm stopping the gush!!
Happy holidays my dear friends!
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| It is an odd thing to review one's life from the prognosis of another. I got my medical records from the military archive this weekend. I was off work yesterday and I started to look through them. From what bits of the chicken scrawl that I can read I've gained a few insights into my life. I have a few things to look up to find out more about why I was in a spinal brace as a toddler, but most interesting to me is a span of time when I was ten. Because I have some memory of that time of life (unlike the spinal/leg brace) it's been interesting to supplement that with other facts.
I used to fake being sick a lot. Usually this corresponded with days that I had orthodontist appointments, but that wasn't always the case. I would call my mom's work at about 10:45, they wouldn't answer the store phones before then, and tell her I was throwing up and stayed home from school. My dad wasn't as easy to fool, I would have to put on a little act for him, so I usually tried to forgo staying home if I knew he hadn't left for work yet. Looking back through my medical records at the innumerable times that I went to the ER with a sprained and terribly hurting ankle I wondered to myself, "What was I doing that for?". I've never been a real wuss, I learned early how to be tough and not to cry, but one twist of the ankle and I was out. I think that it had to do with having time out, being away from the craziness of home and family for a little bit of time. That's all I wanted, was a few moments of peace. When I stayed home from school it was just me. Mom worked too far away to come rushing home to a 'sick' child and I knew that and took advantage of it. Dad simply couldn't leave work and as they were both on to my game they pretty much let me be. Not that they didn't make it known that I shouldn't be skipping school, but they just couldn't let it be a cry for attention. It simply wasn't feasible.
This has real time applications as well. The more that I desire to wean from my anti's the more I have to look back at my life, try to see the beginnings of my depression so that I can recognize and prevent or treat it at an early point. I don't want to go into life with someone else and create issues because I don't know what's going on (or not going on - serotonin - in my brain ). Looking back at my ten year old self I really believe that I was depressed. I didn't have many friends, I was starting to gain weight not to mention puberty, family life was a hellish mess and being the fat girl with braces and glasses isn't fun in school at any age. I don't really know that medicating kids at such a young age is the best option but it would have been nice to see a counselor at that age, kind of like my older brother had been at that time.
I know that this is a very journally blog entry, but maybe I'll be able to look back on it when my kids are faking sick and remind myself that there just might be something else going on...
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| For awhile now I have felt like I'm the one in the relationship with the cold feet... well cold toes really. Maybe it's just that I'm hesitant and scared to plan a wedding when I don't know for sure if I'll be able to stay with my husband afterward. Even through the distance I am constantly reminded of being loved and loving in return. Not only by Derek but by his (my!) family. I know they are really my 'family-to-be' but whatever, Bev is my other-mother and has been for years. I got a package in the mail from her today, a few Winnipeg / Manitoba based wedding mags, a copy of the church bulletin with Derek and my engagement announcement and my first ever annual T-family Christmas ornament. She sent me a giant (faux) engagement ring! So great. I can't wait to get the tree up now!
I am simply feeling it and that is so exciting and hopeful that I cannot put it into words!
I have been doing borderline ridiculous amounts of overtime at work the past few weeks. I think I'm going to keep my day off completely off this week just so I have a day to myself. I am going to Minneapolis next weekend with a friend for shopping so that will be fun. I am almost done with my Christmas shopping though. Please allow me to be quite smug about that! (Smug smug smug smug ....)
This was pretty random but there you go... Have a great holiday season!
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| I have been wanting to update and write this for awhile now, I've been pretty busy though since getting back from my vacation. So for anyone that was surprised and/or confused by mine and Derek's recent engagement here is a bit (a big bit) of a background.
As you may know Derek and I dated for about 2 years in college and broke up about 4 years ago. Living next door to each other and constantly crossing paths doesn't really enable complete separation though. Over all we remained friends. After I left Three Hills we remained in touch, when I visited Alberta for a wedding I visited Derek, when things in my life drastically changed Derek was the first person I told. I detoured about 1200 miles to spend a few days of vacation with him. We also went to London together, also to visit Lindsay, but largely to go to London. All in all we have been apart of each others lives no matter that we broke up.
I attempted to date people here, to move on, but I never really got there. My love for Derek was always in the back of my mind, and from what I understand it was also in the back of his! More recently, when I was having a really bad time because of a fallout with a friend, he sent me flowers. Now I guess that's something sort of normal for long distance friends... maybe,okay maybe not, but it warmed my heart and it really did make me question our "just friends" status. I had tried to convince him to come and visit for my birthday, but work schedules just didn't work out. I did however receive flowers again! He did visit in July/August. He got here on July 31st at night and left the morning on August 2nd. That day was absolutely fabulous. It definitely makes my top ten list of best days ever. During that visit neither of us could deny that we were something more than friends, but our relationship was, as facebook would put it, complicated. I decided then that I would visit Winnipeg in my upcoming vacation time and hopefully we could work things out. The fact that he drove 12 hours to visit me for a day was something that gave me confidence that he "cared' about me, whether or not he said it.
We didn't really announce that we were dating again because there were things that we needed to figure out. We were then driving up to the cabin at Grand Beach for Thanksgiving on Sunday when we decided we should probably define our relationship. It was only about an hour before he proposed that we had settled that we were actually dating again. We did also discuss that there wasn't really a point for us to date if we weren't going to get married eventually, after all we had been seeing each other for about six years on and off...
He had me detour to the beach before we went to the cabin to join his family. We walked along the boardwalk and down the beach. Even though it was cold, it was beautiful. I was so glad that I got to see a significant sized beach on my vacation after all! That's when he proposed, asking me if I would spend my life with him. I'm pretty sure I responded, "I suppose" before realizing that this was not the time for sarcasm! We called my parents to ask their blessing, they were thrilled. Then we went to the cabin making small talk with everyone when we got there before a break in the conversation to share our news. It was undoubtedly the best Thanksgiving ever and I know that I am more than excited to be able to be apart of his family.
I am going to be moving to Canada (sometime) and we haven't yet set a date but we will be getting married sometime in the Spring of 2011. I'm not really sure what else to add, but the details are mushy and I promised I'd try to rein it in! | | |
| So, in case you missed it in my facebook updates I'm in Winnipeg. I was planning on visiting the left coast for this vacation until about 2 months ago. We (Derek and I) have had an awesome time so far, for this one first day. There was Cirque du Symphonie this afternoon, a special collaboration between a few Circque performers and the Winnipeg symphony, stunning really. I am looking forward to this entire week, time away from work and with my best friend! Yay. I thought I had tonnes more to say, but I don't right now... maybe later. Love always, Tina | | |
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